Skip to main content

Parenting in the Dark

I have often come to new understandings of parenting during my down time.
It is understandable that at times when I am at rest, I have a little time to put things in perspective.  The beach and ocean are special places of reflection for me.

The kids and I love the water. Getting them out of the ocean after an afternoon of swimming is always difficult, mostly because I hate getting out too.

A few times last week, when the hurricane warmed waters allowed, we started a new habit of swimming at night.

The first night, it was pitch black. Foggy and dark, there was no moon to illuminate things.  We jumped in and were delighted to discover plankton can be seen when it is that dark, we emerged from the water, with neon dots all over us, the fairy lights spread out from our ripples.  But the waves were dark and unpredictable. Out of nowhere a big wave would suddenly loom in the darkness.  At first this was thrilling, but one by one, it spooked each of us until we eventually lost our nerve.

If we had not come at night, we never would have seen the plankton.

The next night, I was with my kids on a better lit night, but I was on my own. One kid is more cautious and felt like playing on the ocean's edge, the other stayed a bit off shore.  I didn't want to be too far from either of them in the dark. So I toggled between them.

I have been in this position many many times as a parent, in and out of the water.

In parenting, we are often in the dark, relying on the half light of knowledge, sometimes there is no light at all.  Waves surge up in the dark, sometimes they are playful, sometimes they are too much to handle. There is an infinite stillness in parenting and a constant motion.  Sometimes, we crawl to the shore for comfort and others we leap forward, hand in hand, into a dark foamy wave.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Writing it out.

Since 2020, I have written the following: -grandiose grocery lists (written on an empty stomach) that often end up getlting left behind at home -funding proposals -delicately worded emails -harried Whatsapp messages -a slew of facebook messages (that basically kept me alive) -a tinder profile or two... -utilitarian text messages -heart felt text messages -the very occasional love note (on paper) to a friend or a loved one The things I have not written since 2020: -a journal -a multi-page handwritten letter -a play -a sketch -a novel -more than 2-3 blog posts that I didn't even publish -a pros and cons list

Playing School

Proper Cry

Photo Source:  thesetingstaketime.com  via  Stephanie  on  Pinterest I love to laugh.  I love laughing so hard I lose  control.  I love that release.    For this reason and lots of others, I could not wait to see the blockbuster, Bridesmaids last summer.  Everyone told me, "you are going to pee yourself. It is so FUNNY." And yes, I almost did pee myself, but I also cried through almost the entire last half of the movie.  I did not laugh so hard I cried, I just plain sobbed. I felt really sad watching the story of two friends come to terms with how their friendship was changing.  I was really surprised by my reaction after all the hype about how hilarious the movie was, but I knew why.  The brilliance of this movie was how life can be so hilarious and painful at the same time.    Yesterday, I was on a social networking site and one of the people I follow mentioned that she cried "proper tears" upon reading a story about a woman's tragic childhoo