The line of light under the door.

There is a tiny door in my mind now, behind which there are things I do not wish to even deign to imagine. I prefer to keep it firmly shut. I turn towards the light instead. I cannot see clearly looking into such dazzling light but I am going to trust that walking forward into it will not be a bad move. However, what is the substance of this blinding good light? How do I add to it and not dim it?

What creates peace in this world? Is losing my temper with my kids while I'm trying to do any other thing (especially unrealistic-in-the-first-place things) disrupting peace really or just a natural part of this journey? Sarcasm? Rolling my eyes? Is keeping anger to myself violent? I know these actions and copious examples of inaction can diminish peace in a thousand splintering ways but where is the line between that and violence, between violence and no violence being committed? I already know the answer but I don't always act like I know. There is no line or if there is, it is a swervy, curvy, blurry one. And I have to be diligent everyday to ensure that peace means more than no violence. We all do.

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Writing it out.

Since 2020, I have written the following: -grandiose grocery lists (written on an empty stomach) that often end up getlting left behind at home -funding proposals -delicately worded emails -harried Whatsapp messages -a slew of facebook messages (that basically kept me alive) -a tinder profile or two... -utilitarian text messages -heart felt text messages -the very occasional love note (on paper) to a friend or a loved one The things I have not written since 2020: -a journal -a multi-page handwritten letter -a play -a sketch -a novel -more than 2-3 blog posts that I didn't even publish -a pros and cons list

Playing School

Proper Cry

Photo Source: thesetingstaketime.com via Stephanie on Pinterest I love to laugh. I love laughing so hard I lose control. I love that release. For this reason and lots of others, I could not wait to see the blockbuster, Bridesmaids last summer. Everyone told me, "you are going to pee yourself. It is so FUNNY." And yes, I almost did pee myself, but I also cried through almost the entire last half of the movie. I did not laugh so hard I cried, I just plain sobbed. I felt really sad watching the story of two friends come to terms with how their friendship was changing. I was really surprised by my reaction after all the hype about how hilarious the movie was, but I knew why. The brilliance of this movie was how life can be so hilarious and painful at the same time. Yesterday, I was on a social networking site and one of the people I follow mentioned that she cried "proper tears" upon reading a story about a woman's tragic childhoo

Growing Versions

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